I wish I could've more time

I wanted to start working on my annual year end review blog post but there are so many things in my to-do list. How I wish I could've more time so I could at least take a good rest and breathe. I'm so afraid that I'll indulge into drama hence I didn't dare to start watching any drama. I'm still trying my best to exercise consistently and control my diet so I could reduce my weight before CNY.

Gosh, it's just so difficult to strike a balance between everything. And I've just finished the second week of the semester.

Alamak.

Give and take

We can't be greedy and want everything. Problem is, what to give? What to take?

Will I regret?

It's all about love.

Humans are the strangest species ever, especially when it involves relationship. When we want to confess about something, we tend to over cautious about our choice of words but ultimately fail to convey our feelings precisely. However, when we need to make a concession, we tend to place a stronger emphasis on our dignity to prevent us from being the "loser" in the relationship, but ridiculously things would not end up the way we wish to see.

If we are alone, we could be just ourselves without caring much about other's feelings. On the other hand, if we are in a relationship with someone that we might care more than ourselves, we need to listen completely, communicate softly and understand and respect his/her feelings to maintain a long-term healthy and meaningful relationship. This is absolutely not easy and not everyone is aware of this. Unfortunately, we only know it after getting hurt or hurting someone we care.

Love is about finding someone who worth your time and energy and appreciate the real "you". The imperfect but trying to be better "you". Even you might think you look fat, in his eyes, you look perfect, probably just happen to be surrounded by fats. The fats are the thick wrappers of his/her precious present.

You are the present.

I wonder how lucky must someone be to meet the "one" in their life and grow old together. There might be people who are more brilliant, wealthier, better looking and more talented than him/her. But the one is irreplaceable. The one that you could laugh crazily at stupid things, complain badly about your boss or cry without feeling embarrassed.

And most importantly, you could love unconditionally.

Do you?

Yeah.

I do.

I shall sleep

I finally back to gym after two months. I'm not sure whether is it because of exercising, I have been feeling fulfilled throughout the whole day, despite only had roti canai as simple dinner. Oh ya let's not forgot the stink tofu, my supper! Been immersing myself in good music and enjoying long lost me-time, while doing my ICMS work. I just couldn't stand pending tasks.

How I wish the night could be longer.

Reading

I loved reading. I used to be the good student who borrowed books (other than reference books) from the library. When I was a primary school kid, "going to the library" was scheduled as one of our lessons in our timetable. We were given the opportunity to visit the library for 30 minutes weekly. The intention of school authority was to encourage students to read more. The teachers would "forced" us to lend one book, different language for each week. Malay and English books were definitely not my first choice as I prefer to read Chinese.

I always want to read more than one book per week, so I would visit the library other than the stipulated time in our timetable. However, my presence was not welcomed by the librarian. She refused to entertain me after my school hours, and if I want to lend books during my rest time, I need to do it before any class enter into the library (my rest time clashes with other classes' timetable to go to the library). Hence, I need to run to the library immediately after the school bell rang. I remembered running with Chai twin brothers, who are book lovers too, from the forth floor where our classroom were located to the tallest floor of another building. We had to pick the books from the shelf and complete the borrowing procedure as quick as possible.

After reading, we had to write the details and summary of the books we had read in our NILAM book. NILAM is a program that aims to inculcate reading habit among students, but the implementation had failed to achieve the objective. Most of the NILAM records I had written were made up with intention to submit my "homework". The implementation was even worse during my high school time. Students were forced to spent their Tuesday and Thursday morning to read an article provided by library. I was the "Wakil NILAM" who distributed the article, "monitoring" the students to ensure they read, although I couldn't recall any content that I have ever read.

Apart from borrowing books from school library, my dad used to bring me to a public library located nearby Petaling Street. Going to the library was something that I looked forward excitedly during weekends, unfortunately dad didn't bring me there every week due to his busy schedule. After I graduated from secondary school, I become busier and often missed the opportunity to go to the library with my dad. After some time, my dad had decided to stop paying for our membership.

I guess that's the point that I have stopped reading. After studying A Level at Sunway College, I spent most of my time on studying, hanging out with friends and smartphone. If I spend the time that I have wasted on scrolling through meaningless social media to read, I could've read many books that might expand my mind. Another reason I stopped reading was most of the books I found in Sunway library were English books. I find it very challenging to read English books due to my poor English and difference in styles of writing and culture.

Things got worse when I was studying my Degree. I became more active in joining extracurricular activities and socializing. To maintain my CGPA and spend more time with my loved ones, I rarely watch my favorite movies or dramas, yet alone spend time to read something other than my ACCA reference books. Spending too much time on studying during year one was definitely the most regrettable thing that I have done during my university days.

It's never too late to start again. "Now" is always right time to get back to reading. "No time to read" is merely an excuse, just like "no time to exercise" is a lie. It's never easy to balance my time wisely, but I think I am on my way.

Expectation Gap

Started my first day of final semester today. Was definitely a day well spent with my classmates. Would be better if Mun Sin can join us sing k, but at least she came and joined us for buffet dinner for the very first time! Teehee.

First class was Advanced Audit and Assurance. Was questioning myself why I choose this elective paper as I can foresee it'll be a very difficult one, maybe will lower my CGPA cries. My lecturer talked about the expectation gap between the real work of auditor and the public's expectation towards auditor, which is one of the challenges faced by auditors nowadays.

Expectation gap. This term reminds me of my conversation with Ivy last night. This girl is leaving to Singapore to start her new chapter very soon. We met up and talked about random things, including our relationship with others.

Our conclusion is, once one party has expectation towards another party in a relationship, one will get disappointed easily when the other party do or doesn't do anything. Question is, does the other party has an obligation to do that? Are we setting our expectation too high and being unfair to another party who doesn't think the same but also care about the relationship as much as you?

How do we judge whether someone cares or not?

They always say, you'll know it because you'll feel it. It's not about their words or action, but deep inside our heart we will feel it.

Can I? Do I?

Been so uncertain about this. About my feelings. About my relationship with everyone around me. Even if I know people will lie, I still feel more assured if other says or promised something, but I'll be judgmental immediately.

Guess I'm just over thinking again.

It'll be much better if we don't set any expectation at all. I always find my internship experience quite ok because I'm prepared for shit and ended up the shit wasn't that much? I tried to have zero expectation when I entered into relationship with my bf, even deep inside I sincerely hope our relationship will last until we died.

We always hope to get good things and people, but yet we are so afraid to lose it. So, we lower our expectation to protect ourselves and to close the expectation gap. This would also prevent us from exerting too much pressure to another party who is not ready to give that much into a relationship or have a different personality from us.

In the end, we just hope to be loved and recognized. Easy to say but I really doubt will I be this lucky.

Team Stressed

My November plan was supposed to be concentrating on preparing for my ACCA external examinations. I tried to avoid taking much responsibilities, skipping events, turned down few invitations from my friends to meet up.

However, things don't go as planned. My efficiency and concentration on studies never been so worse. I'm constantly under stress of not sticking to my study plan, feel sorry for rejecting my friends and guilty of feeding myself too well without regular workout  (I have gained weight!). It's a vicious cycle and I couldn't stop blaming myself at the end of everyday, although I have enjoyed the day.

There's one day I was stressed out again, then my team received an encrypted email from P&G. We had conflicted feelings towards this good news. Of course we were excited to get into final round, but it means we had to prepare for it. The timing of final round was bad as we were having our peak period and I had one ACCA paper one day after the competition. But it didn't take me too much time to decide that I want to do this. This competition isn't similar with the other competitions that I have participated before, which is very interesting and challenging.

But as usual, life catch us off guard! I nearly fainted when I saw the names of finalists. I am very happy that my friends made into final round too, but the fact that four out of eight teams are from my organisation means it's gonna be very competitive and only one team could made into the international round. We felt more stressed when we were given the 20 pages case study question and they informed us that our deadline was three days earlier than expected.

And there's no cash prize! Sorry for being money minded but cash prize would be a great motivation for me HAHA. But I would say the experience (let's don't talk about free food and free gift) was extremely invaluable.

Door gift

Our discussion didn't go well and it's super difficult to schedule our discussion due to our busy schedule. Although one of our teammates is my housemate but we still do hangout call LOL. The Google Hangout session would always be the best moment and I felt our bond had strengthened after going through the hardship together. We named ourselves "team stressed" because we are just too stressed out about life.

Exhausted Vyleen who relies on coffee to barely survive 

I always prefer to work alone because I don't need to accommodate with other's schedule and discussion might end up with no conclusion. Especially when working with friends, I'm very worried of ruining our relationship. But it turned out that teamwork is the key of our success. Our diversity in academics background, working style, personality and experience had encouraged us to consider from different perspectives, which led to holistic decision making.

We couldn't believe it when they announced Team 4 is the first runner up. We even doubted that whether they announced it wrongly and whether our team is Team 4. I'm not sure whether it's another achievement that I should be proud of, but I definitely would cherish the moments we spent together and appreciate all the support and guidance provided by others.

The lighting at P&G is superb!

With the friendly HR

The video of our competition is finally out and surprisingly our team got lots of screen time. The video is so good and brings back memories. Shout out to the friendly photographer who did a great job. Here's the link to video: https://m.facebook.com/watch/?v=460240828208612&_rdr

And my creative bf has edited the screenshot from the video, which explains our relationship precisely.

The photographer is skilled at capturing the real moments

P.S.
Big thanks to my bf a.k.a. our driver and my ultimate supporter. I like your laptop very much leh can give me ah? Since you have given me your heart, no difference kan?

Finally we got a decent picture, but why I got double chin while my bf looks slim? Walau photographer Vyleen you hate me secretly is it 

Thanks to Jia Qi who dragged us into this too.

We have wasted so much time on each other 

Year 3 Sem 2

Short semester is supposed to be a chill and easy-to score semester, but ended up reality proves me wrong (insert "crying" whatsapp sticker here). It was a pretty hectic due to recruitment but unproductive semester. I wasn't very satisfied with my performance, stress management and time management. Could've practiced a healthier and more disciplined lifestyle, but I chose to be lazy and always. Guess my body is telling me to take a break and rest? How I wish I could've a longer break to rest.  Problem with short sem is, I didn't even understand what I was taught, then the sem ended! Another hell sem is waiting ahead for me. Trying my best to not die.

Personal Financial Planning (PFP)
This elective subject caught my eye immediately when I was researching on my course structure. Being financially free is everyone's goal, whether or not one is aware of it. The syllabus covers a wide range of areas which provide a great insight into financial planning and the knowledge we've gained is probably more useful than what we learnt from our ACCA textbooks. Most importantly, it has raised our awareness on the importance of managing our finance properly, which I believe many people have failed to do so due to lack of relevant information.

My lecturer is a good story teller who has shared many real life cases of her cousins (you couldn't tell how big her family is) and her experience as an insurance agent. But I didn't score A for her subject! It was definitely a huge waste of chance to improve my CGPA! This subject is comparatively easier than my core subjects but I couldn't score it! This is the main reason that made me mad at myself, luckily it doesn't affect my CGPA that much.

After self reflection, I realize I didn't handle my stress properly during my exam period. I was over worried about my ACCA external examinations but I didn't take action immediately to buck up, instead I escaped from reality by sleeping or just procrastinating. I couldn't concentrate during studying too as I was worrying about my team's preparation for P&G CEO Challenge (again over worried). The root cause is my tendency to over worried and failure to address it immediately. Have to be more alert on this so that my performance won't be affected adversely :(

Anyway, A- is not that bad, and I've gained more than that during my exam period. I would write more about that in my next post.


Contemporary Malaysian Issues (CMI)
This is a MPU subject which I have totally no idea what had happened during the whole semester. I attended two hours class on Monday morning for seven consecutive weeks, wrote and presented an "interesting" fake life experience, copied and pasted other's opinions in Google Classroom. Then I scored the highest in class. Wow.

I was looking forward to the debate session on current issues, but the subject structure is rather disappointing. Instead of giving us a chance to exchange ideas in class, we are required to post our opinions at Google Classroom when we are physically sitting in the classroom. There isn't any room that encouraged us to think critically on current issues, yet we are neither asked to present our opinion nor our tutor coached us on how to evaluate an issue critically.

In our era, critical and independent thinking are significant because we receive tons of information from internet daily but we fail to process or interpret them. People speak without thinking, support their belief without reasonable justification, spout about one's opinion. It's pretty hard to meet someone who think. Even I myself am lazy at times.

In conclusion, this semester should be a chill and easy one but I screwed up! Gotta learn from mistakes and move on to my final semester, the final chapter in my university life.

12.12

第一次男友接我的机
真的应该拍张照片

"第一次接我最爱的人的机"

为啥我没有我男友的浪漫细胞呢

讽刺

看到谢和弦被捕的消息，在想怎么这个人的名字那么熟悉，原来就是那首很红的«谢谢你爱我»的主唱!

好吧，我朋友在唱歌时点过这首歌，但我好像没有很认真地听过这首歌。（不是马后炮）

后来又看到朋友在面子书转发他2017年的一篇文章，天啊，我竟然点赞过! 立马取消赞。哈哈哈。不好意思我有轻微的情感洁癖。吸大麻不是我不喜欢他的原因，主要是觉得他身为一个公众人物在自己的国家犯法被捕后，表现出对法律制度和媒体鄙视的态度。你可以支持大麻合法化，但不代表你可以背叛老婆，和做出违法的行为。

追求自由，不代表藐视法律。

只能说好好活着还真的不乏惊人的新闻呢! 你曾一度以为美好的事情，在N年后被啪啪打脸! 所以我常说，华丽浮夸的词藻，不如踏实生活来得更真实。（仿佛提早衰老?）

不过我相信他当年写这首歌和这个文章时，心里的确是很爱他老婆的。这次吸大麻事件也是他老婆举报的，相信他老婆也很希望他回头是岸吧。每个人都有犯错的时候，希望N年后我再次被打脸，看到他改过自新和老婆过上好的生活的新闻吧!

愿上天保佑每个真心对待他人的人!

P.S.
最近写很多是为了凑数，不要怀疑。

地狱空荡荡，恶魔在人间。

"看电影了没"是我最喜欢的YouTube channel，所讲解的电影都是少为人知和极有丰富的教育性或深度的。很喜欢K猫和小鸣的媳妇的声音，听着好像生活的苦痛都不见了。

看电影解说和看电影一样，最害怕的是看到"真实事件改编"。选择看电影解说是不想承受剧情，台词和演员所带来的情绪，而且倘若解说员的稿有素质，会带来另一番不同的领悟。

前方高能: 心情欠佳不要看

然而今天更新的影片是我看到最沉重的。看影片当儿我萌生了多次想停止观看的念头，人行之恶令我心如铅重，久久不能平息，尤其最后犯罪者一脸无辜（她还去教会呢!），真心让我觉得到底为何上帝会允许这样的人存活于世上。更让我担心的是，她的七个孩子会被怎样影响呢?他们是否尚在人间，延续她的恶行?

不寒而栗。

这也是为什么我从不知从哪年开始，生日愿望就是世界上的恶少一些。

看来没实现呢。

Jia Qi asked me to update my blog

My professional paper is less than 24 hours and my study progress is still way behind my plan. BUT. Instead of concentrating, I am consistently distracted by Instagram stories and thinking about my career options in future. OF ALL THE THINGS I NEED TO DO. Yeah.

Guess my bf is gonna mad at me if he knows I have wasted most of my time overthinking again.

BYE.

I need to hit my KPI!

You might find me posting more frequently lately (maybe nobody notice), because I just realize the number of my blog posts for this year is horribly less as compared to last few years! Not even half of them OMG. Become lazier ah me.

Spent more time socialing with people and less me-time? Didn't get a chance to enjoy a break.

The 2 Mr Lais in my life

Used to complain about my TAR UC lecturers a lot. Their english, their pattern, their attitude. It's very difficult to find a lecturer who truly understand the meaning of an educator. Maybe some of them knew, but the pressure and administrative work had turned them into who they are right now.

Justification to TAR UC, I feel problematic lectures exist in all universities. My experience at Sunway wasn't that good too, thanks to Visha, the legend lecturer who always disappeared after her toilet break. Luckily I met Ms Cherilyn or else I highly likely will fail my Econs.

Fun fact: the best and worst lecturers in my life are A Levels Econs lecturers.

I was surprised that I still managed to meet some good lecturers before I graduate. Sorry la I literally lost hope in my university and the entire education system. The first Mr Lai is my SBR lecturer, who apparently the only Accounting lecturer that knows how to explain accounting standards in a layman term. Besides that, he really KNOWS how to capture a girl's heart. I wonder whether his wife knows HAHA. There's an unofficial fan club of his, and I believe all of them are girls! Besides good at joking and teaching, he cares about his students sincerely, which someone who skipped his lectures frequently (yes it's me) could even feel it. But yeah I don't know why he mixed up Yung Yie and Pinky (insider joke of 3RPA1 only).

Meeting the second Mr Lai is totally unexpected. Our management has some changes recently and two Associate Deans are appointed. I had a very hard time dealing with one of them, who is a woman (I hope this explains why, not trying to discriminate). The end results of my discussion with her was I might couldn't claim for my travel reimbursement (So done with their inefficiency) and forced to attend a prize giving ceremony. I really hate ceremony. Wasting my time. And I missed Induction Day! Urgh. Even Judy was like "wow so they made you come".

Luckily I met Mr Lai. At first I just want to tumpang his car so I don't need to grab to the prize giving ceremony (I giapsiap sorry). And I was shocked when this new Associate Dean drove a Mercedes. Woah. What impress me the most is our conversation. Finally I meet a lecturer who has commercial working experience, knows the reason he chose to join the education industry and has clear intention to improve the system. I think another factor that differentiates him from others is his education background, as he was an undergraduate from UK. He was from another department, that's why I never meet him before. I could imagine how unwilling other lecturers to take over the position of Associate Dean. This prompts me to initiate conversation with him, although my initial intention was to fight for my budget for travel reimbursement HAHA.

That's how we started our.... friendship? I don't know how to classify our relationship thou. He isn't my subject lecturer but he teaches me beyond that. Shared with me his working experience and some useful tips to survive in the workplace. Feel so touched when he remember I have a competition tomorrow and sent me a message.

And he reminded me some mistakes I made, which I truly appreciate! I feel he kinda revoke my love towards education, which I have chosen to give up as I lost faith in our education system. Yeah and I need more money to survive. Accounting is a good choice, I don't regret it, but just I'm currently in a dilemma that I don't know which field to begin my career (another story sorry guys I'm always off topic).

So this guy, Mr Lai, who I just knew in less than one month, has somehow reminded me what I could do for our Malaysia education system. The idea is very crazy, but if someone don't do it, nobody will. I'm not courageous to give up on what I have today, but I could do it when I'm financially stable. Who knows?

Again, it's appreciation time! Regardless of all the shits I've went through, thanks God (if there's one) who allows me to meet these kind people.

Will the judges tomorrow kind enough to let our team win?

Alright I am over thinking again. Time to get my ass move and stop procrastinating.

P.S.
If God really exist, could you please grant my wish to pass my ACCA papers? Ok sorry if you really exist please ignore me I shall study now I'm sorry to waste your time HAHA.

Who are my close friends?

Just some add up from the previous post about social media influence. I didn't create any close friend list at Instagram yet.

How should I define close? Who should I put in my list? 

Sometimes I (I believe not only me) find it very surprising to appear in someone's close friend list! I know I should feel honoured, but it's like... "Wow we close? For real?" I don't know whether is it me being too pessimistic towards how others position me, or I instinctively refuse to be close with them? 

P.S.

Surprisingly (er I don't know why I find this surprising), my boyfriend, my other half, is my top one close friend. :3 Not an easy task mate, I hope you survive. 

Social Media Influence

Ok I find myself like to update blog when finals or important exam is around the corner.

Was scrolling my Facebook profile and looking at all the photos which I was tagged by others. Have removed many photos that I posted myself HAHA. Just feel like wan to have some privacy.

Internet has changed our life, and also our relationship. We start to magnify many trivial issues at internet, post our opinions or feeling, trying to seek attention from a wide range of people because sometimes we don't know how to initiate or engage in a conversation. Many of my friends prefer to reply via insta story rather than just talk at whatsapp. Probably we just hope to not disturb other's life which we have no longer involved in but we still wish to know what's happening to others? (Geh po)

I was very reluctant to update my personal feelings or life at social media, and insist that only people who I'm really close with will know what's happening in my life. Until I became the president of Accounting Society, I noticed social media could be used as a platform for marketing, kept myself updated of some important info, networking with people whom I barely remember their names, gaining fame (?) and most importantly, to prove that you're really doing your job and having a good relationship with your team.

I find this extremely ridiculous tbh as I still think what is shown at social media could be entirely different from the real life! I witness too many friends who posted how fun their moment spent with their friends, but in real life complaining... also couple who posted their sweet moments and just broke up few days after! Even some who barely talk or spend time with their family, posting how lovely they're with their family! I still find this confusing sometimes. Is it me who too obsessed with being genuine and the truth?

I guess I just don't belong to the virtual social media world. I become more active at social media at the beginning of this year because I was very curious with the human behaviour that is reflected through social media. I was influenced by some of my friends who are social media influencers.

And I find social media very addictive. I began to lose myself, very worried on other's reaction when they saw my insta story, and concerned on how many people viewed my insta story. And I think I am really lazy at taking good photos from nice angle, using the correct filter, coming out with nice caption. Ok I'm really lazy.

I have spoken to Michael who always update his insta story, and he told me to stop over think and be myself at social media. He isn't wrong, but probably is me who worries too much.

But of course there's good side of social media! I get to talk to some of my friends without awkwardness, keep in touch with some friends who I really care. And sharing some stupid moments in my life! There are really some people who find it easier to get closer with me through insta story LOL. They just find interaction through insta story or message is fun. I also love looking at pretty photos or mouth watering food!

Besides, insta story is a good source of information hahaha! There are many interesting features or stuffs that one could find from social media too. Shouldn't neglect the usefulness of social media. Hardly find someone like Soon Weng who stay far away from social media.

Glad that I have get rid of addiction to social media and putting more emphasis and care in my real life. Feeling and appreciating every moment makes me feel alive and cherished.

I suddenly recall when Snapchat and Twitter were introduced, I was very reluctant to embrace these new platforms (like Soon Weng). Seems like I didn't change much.

Every coin has two sides. Probably it depends on how we use social media. I think I prefer to post funny moments to make others happier (life is hard) and post moments with some of my friends who really care about social media presence? Oh ya it's a good marketing platform for my events too! 

Feeling blessed

I don't know what should I ask for more sometimes. Appreciate all the people that I've met who treated me well and being kind to me. Especially those who trust me more than I trust myself.

P.S.
当然要谢谢最肥的那个 UWU

For real?

If sharing this can solve the problems in Hong Kong, how I wish it could this easy.

Pray for Hong Kong

So disheartening after reading all the comments under the Facebook post.

I didn't research much on how is happening recently nor spent time verifying the truthiness of each news I have read, hence I chose to not support either party.

I just hope that nobody dies. Nobody gets hurt anymore.

Please people, stop cyber bullying. Why can't you see how harsh and bad the words that you typed? If today your children are the students who are stuck in the campus, will you say the same shit anymore?

These people only know to hide behind the keyboard and pretend to be a hero.

My friend once asked me, what is my expectation towards tertiary education.

Yeah, I guess I hope all university graduates could be a responsible citizen. Someone responsible for all the words written in their social media. Someone who will think before they speak.

We don't need everyone to be an activist or someone who advocate for something big. I believe if everyone can play their own role responsibly, maybe just start from drive properly and obey the rules, the world will be better.

But yeah I know. I'm always naive.

Always.

Probably that's why I feel very easily recently. Reading all the news, looking at all the photos.

No matter the source of news I read is legit or not, I know there are people who are suffering.

If there's God, please protect them. Please do. 

11.11 & 12.11

Both days were great days for me.

11.11
Last min joining the crazy 11.11 shopping hype. Was sad as I failed to buy the Innisfree masks urgh! So many to buy but yet so less to spend.

It was Mun Sin's birthday! Too bad didn't manage to meet up with Qiao Xuan and Jia Xin, and our sing k plan has been postponed indefinitely (it's been a year walau!) But the birthday lunch with our uni mates was a memorable one! We planned to have Korean food but it was unfortunately closed (maybe the shop owner is busy online shopping). Hence we decided to walk from LRT Wangsa Maju to AEON Wangsa Maju to grab KFC, which was my very first suggestion for lunch haha.

There was an impromptu birthday surprise as I noticed there is a Secret Recipe in the mall. I swear it's the most awkward moment when we sang the birthday song, thanks to all my classmates (let's not talk about this). I don't know how a casual chatting session turned out to be a typical CNY aunt throwing difficult questions to the younger generation - "Why you don't have girlfriend?" "When want to find a girlfriend?"

LOL. Pity the guys. Their facial expressions were the best HAHA.

Finally we took many pictures! Couldn't recall when was the last time our gang went out together. Probably our last meal with Kah Khei as she is planning to defer her final sem. Putting aside all the drama with her, she will definitely be missed. All the best to another "Jia Qi" in my life, who taught me to be more considerate and careful of my words and actions.

My badminton plan with boyfriend failed as someone was lazy! Another impromptu outing with him, and we managed to grab Llao Llao with only RM11! But the fruit toppings were out of stock by that time. We finally tried out a Chinese steamboat shop that we passed by many times, and had a good quality conversation (despite the fact that our conversations are always high quality hehe).

12.11
The original plan was to stick closely to my study plan as I have been falling behind! Three weeks to ACCA but I feel so unprepared (and now I decide to update blog over study rip). Again, I use my period fatigue as excuse to have an impromptu dinner with my boyfriend and ACS gang. Another good quality yet entertaining
conversation with them. I even helped Ernest to win an argument. Mixed feeling over this as I feel proud of myself, but sad at the quality of the committee nowadays.


Feels good to always feel cherished and fulfilled in my life.

But. What happen to my study plan? Oops.

You never know people treat you well is because they really treat you as friend or they have their intentions.

久违的戏评———玛嘉烈与大卫 绿豆

自从沉浸于社交媒体后， 很少认真地写自己的感想与戏评了，导致很多博文表达得杂乱无章，我的华文老师看了大概要泪崩了。真对你们不起啊。

想认真写文章是因为遇上了难得的好作品——《玛嘉烈与大卫·绿豆》。

这几年有水准的港剧实在是屈指可数。身为一个多年港剧忠实粉丝，眼看着港剧逐渐失去独特的港味，慢慢地为人民币向中国大陆靠拢，优秀演员出走大陆，新生演员演技不堪入目，剧本一言难尽虎头蛇尾。随着课业繁忙和更多的戏剧选择，港剧已经不再是我的首选。虽然近期热播的《金宵大厦》值得一看，但这部无意中点开的《玛嘉烈与大卫·绿豆》更深得我心。

其中原因，大概是那种娓娓道来的叙事情节。故事主线很简单但没有韩剧般狗血，更细腻和更真实地演绎出情侣在一起出现裂痕后如何努力地粉饰太平。没有戏剧性的大吵大闹，反而是同居生活中为了小事引起争端， 想要更靠近对方却害怕真相或给对方压力，争吵后想要结束冷战和好的小举动，每个场景都如此真实。台词中的伏笔和彩蛋很多，大量地描绘了主角们的内心戏。我个人真心不喜欢台词过于刻意向观众传达讯息，唯有细细品味的台词和情节，让人回味无穷。

而第三者的出现，到底是在破坏感情的导火线，还是迫使双方正视存在已久的问题？每一集结束前林海峰的旁白更是画龙点睛，配上配乐《其实怕选择》的音乐前奏，很容易把观众带入情绪。我个人更喜欢这首歌的纯音乐，可惜因为这部戏不红，没有官方的纯音乐版本。不过意外惊喜是，这首歌是我最喜欢的作词人——林夕所写的!

"谁愿意拣择，其实怕选择。”——林夕

老戏骨们的演技一下就戳中了我的点。我很喜欢他们没有大吵大闹配煽情的配乐地闹分手（对，我也很讨厌韩剧最爱的刻意煽情，这也是为何我看戏很少哭)，而是玛嘉烈一天忽然告诉大卫她想吃碎牛粥，他去买了，她却走了。打电话，她不接。嗯。

这部戏还有好久不见的廖碧儿。一个不甘心放手的第三者。以前我觉得这个香港小姐不怎么漂亮，但可能是已经厌倦千篇一律的塑胶脸，忽然觉得廖碧儿真的好漂亮，还有韵味啊。这部戏没有小三和正宫大喊大叫互撕，也没有过度渲染男方的渣，就连她的转身离开，也是淡淡的。没有道德绑架，也没有刻意美化。

廖碧儿和林保怡的对手戏。简单地吃面却诠释出主角的内心感受。

有兴趣的朋友可以点开以下影片感受什么叫字字珠玑。甚至每集都有个三个字的主题，超级贴切的。

但愿世上所有的真心，都能被真心温柔地对待。

被男友投诉wor

听说我男友投诉我在上个post没有提到他
我家老板啊 我那个post是关于学业
你想我怎样提到你叻哈哈哈
而且很明显那个post是有点随便 因为我懒惰

那样我就意思意思写个post给你咯
请你不要那么三八 然后投诉我三八
请你不要每天pattern 气到我血压高
这样挑战女友的极限好吗
虽然我很大方宽容哇卡卡
请不要再发我会养你的白日梦
我还在很期待你养我叻
两个互相等对方养 这样的关系好吗 去反省快点

哎 我都不懂要说什么了
为了其他女生着想 我就委屈下自己啦 科科
爱你么么哒

P.S.
不想post你照片的原因
是因为没有一张是正经好看的 哭哭

Year 3 Sem 1

Moral of the story
再多的4.0 都很难拉回CGPA
就好像人与人之间的感情吧?
一点小事就抹杀之前堆积的所有美好
之后的努力 都只能加回少少的分数
修补所需要的时间 比建立的还要多啊

Cross Cultural Studies
人生最正确的决定就是选了这科elective
在此感激Jia Qi和Vyleen当初叫我选这科
虽然可能没有语文科那么好玩
星期一八点lecture 星期二要等很久上tutorial
但无需花费太多时间和精力就顺利过关
Final有点出乎意料地难 感恩还是过了!
我从这科学会了包容他人的不一样
明白了人与人之间的差异是基于文化

IT
一开始很期待学IT 因为知道IT很重要
但是syllabus真的很令人失望
学的都是很表面或可以自修的东西
希望学校可以improvise
让学生出社会时可以更有准备
也是一科无需花很多时间就过关的科目

SBL
嘿 就是这科上个sem折磨我
感恩有Dr Amy督促和指导我们
全班成绩变好有目共睹
而且因为每个星期都要present
常常需要准备PPT 也是一种训练
同学常常问我花了多少时间准备
我只能说一份耕耘 一份收获

SBR
遇到了很好很好的lecturer
虽然我不喜欢他没有效率
但他真的很会教 把复杂的IAS讲解得很明白
他的extra class就算没有attendance都有很高的出席率 这证明老师才是学生来上课的关键
而不该以attendance来强迫我们来课室游魂

由于Year 2 Sem 2的噩梦
再加上这个sem有两科傻逼
一开始就很怕这个sem
谢天谢地我活过来啦
遗憾的是比较少回家 妈妈应该很想念我吧

They said it's a great achievement despite I'm not the champion.

诶 屁股很大 要减肥了

经过这次比赛 我发现自己真的太不会包装
卖东西就厉害 卖自己就尴尬
坚持无谓的原则 不懂适当的时候讨好他人
不过还是很感谢男友的支持 当天来的朋友 还有老师的指导（虽然靠自己比较多哈哈）
与八千块插肩而过是蛮伤心的
不过冠军真材实料 我心服口服 知道自己有很大的进步空间
更重要的是 更了解了自己的内心
也许我笨我错 但做自己 还是比较开心

遗憾嘛 就是觉得自己可以更努力点
对自己更有信心点 要学会卖弄点 会做人点
我忽然好怕好怕 我不懂以后做工后
能不能应付不同的人 他们的面具
我不懂这样的我 适合在职场上生存嘛
也许我爸是对的 我的性格 真的很快会死

那样啊 我希望我早日中头奖哈哈哈
（算了啦 我都不买万字的哈哈哈）

我-学霸-充满干劲的妹妹

其实进top 10也是很大的肯定
谢谢公司毫不吝啬的礼物
不过我真的不想要更精美的笔记本了可以吗

谢谢你们

做了学会主席 然后进了ICMS的这两年

我明白了一个团队互相支持的重要性和那份温暖

虽然我不会要求别人一定要来 毕竟我自己都不喜欢仪式 也不喜欢他人为了我浪费自己的时间

（瞧 我男友又要说 这女的真不可爱）

我也发现自己比较喜欢 做支持他人的那个 感觉很开心

那天过后马上就去UPM 其实我的作用很小

但很想让Joyce知道 我们一直都在

从JADP开始就很喜欢她做事 虽然她比我更直接

那晚的mamak聊天是意外收获

是啊 比一起喝酒更开心呢 

当然更重要的是 比喝酒便宜啊哈哈哈

我犒赏了我自己一个roti canai

打算请男友和弟妹吃HDL

爸妈就。。。。没打算上报我的奖金哈哈

最主要是他们比较传统 请他们吃好料他们也不见得会开心

（好吧我承认我怕我妈减我零用钱 可以让我享受仅剩八个月可以靠父母的特权吗）

本来还有很多想买的 但算了吧哈哈哈

最大的安全感 莫名过于在银行的钱

Sorry la too money minded 😝

真心谢谢去年的冠军 我的学长
在TARC开学第一天见过面 他真的成长了很多
重要的是 他性格很好很温暖
还记得在ICSC时他如何控制自己不与他人起冲突
谢谢他之前的鼓励 感觉他给的帮助多过老师 oops

话说Ivy怎样把我拍到那么美
我觉得应该是天生丽质的关系
不接受反驳 bye

悄悄告诉你 其实上icms的insta也是动力之一
被采访问到动力时 我都不好意思告诉他们我是为钱而来的哈哈哈
看了冠军在linkedin的post 比较我的blog
我真的应该好好地反省

SBL

Omg am so relieved after SBL! Had a good dinner with my friends, yet even long lost Mun Sin ate dinner with us at Prima :) SBL wasn't as bad as SBR? Two modified questions from BPP, although again I think I could've done better.

Spend less time on phone, spend more time in real life to interact with people :)

Still have two subjects left thou. But why is last paper syndrome hitting me so hard.

SBR

Cant't believe how exhausted I was after the three hours exam.

Definitely easier than external, everything is from BPP, and I somehow recall Mr Lai emphasizing certain parts are important during lecture although I started to skip lecture after week..... 12?

But still, it's my bad as I didn't work very hard... I mean I have plenty of time to prepare for my finals but obviously I procrastinate A  LOT.

I think last two weeks was the most relaxed moment in my 2019 so far.

I miss Mun Sin sometimes as I will feel stressed if she studies beside me.

But yeah I guess I should relax before I stress out myself thou.

Time constraint is another big issue for SBR.

You don't even get the time to react or regret why you choose ACCA after reading the questions. Not even one second to cry.

If the questions aren't modified from BPP, I suspect whether I get to start answering immediately.

Couldn't complete the paper on time, cause I wasn't very familiar with one part.

Thanks god I didn't miss the bus after I finished my exam.

I didn't get the chance to talk to my friends.... I just want my bed so badly.

But the girl who was mentally exhausted couldn't sleep... neither she could concentrate on her next subject gg HAHA

Cooked maggi mee as my birthday.... lunch? Dinner? 

Messages and wishes keep coming in... Thanks so much :)

Louis said pity me as nobody wish me in the class group HAHA.

Why do I even care? Yeah still I am grateful to receive all the wishes, but not wishing me doesn't mean anything.

Who knows maybe him/her is having a bad or busy day? Or maybe they just don't care then why do I care HAHAHA.

锦上添花的人多，雪中送炭的人少啊。

And.... I forgot how many hours I slept. Definitely the longest nap I had during the year.

Alright, time to study for SBL!!

I should stop slacking off.

Birthday & SBR in less than 12 hours

Was recalling all the shit I've went through since I was a kid.
Am amazed by the fact my life didn't turn out as bad as we wrote in karangan how bad parenting affect a child.
Somehow affected adversely. I admit.
Gonna try my best to protect my siblings.
But still I appreciate my parent's effort in raising me up, giving me a place called home which I don't miss a lot but makes me who I am today.
I sincerely apologize on all the words and actions that hurt them. Intentionally or not.
I'm sorry that I'm a grown up now, not relying on y'all anymore (except financial wise sorry la I'm still a poor student pls feed me in the remaining few months).
I'm sorry to stand up against y'all, but it doesn't mean I hate y'all. Conversely, I voice out my opinions because I love y'all.
How I wish I could stop lying and share all my thoughts with y'all.
But yeah, all I learnt is, lying is the easiest and probably the best method of getting along with y'all.

To my annoying siblings, I hope y'all grow up well, without affected by our parents as bad as me.
Pls love them too, they're human beings who love us and feed us in the end. All humans make mistakes right?
Sorry for all the annoying moments when I'm trying to be a mummy.
Thanks for being my reason to go home, and listens to my rants when I want to run away from home.
And pls rmb to belanja me when y'all got salary k.

To my dear bf, not going to write much since your english level so so jer HAHAHA.
Words can't express how grateful I am to have you in my life.
I can't believe "cheerful" has become one of the adjective that describe me, because of all the wonderful moments and laughter you've brought into my life.
Thanks for always being my good listener, but pls love me more and don't always bully me k.
Stop ruining my plan to lose weight.
我很认真地要减肥。真的。
在美食或奶茶出现在我面前之前。

Thanks for all the loved ones in my life.
Sorry for not addressing everyone one by one I still have few chapters to cram HAHA.
I dunno how y'all tolerate the talkative, annoying and negative CY who complains a lot.
I believe everyone come in my life for a reason. No matter good or bad, thank you. :)

Being able to stay alive until my 22nd birthday with all people who love me (nah maybe they don't but I assume they love me HAHAH) is the best present ever. Couldn't ask for more.

Ok la, can I ask 4digit numbers for Jackpot?
I'm serious. Very.

是你浪费在我身上的时间，使我变得如此珍贵。

Saw many Facebook posts questioning the needs of taking care of others feeling. Their justifications are nobody will care about our feelings, we are hurting our feelings when taking care about others or it's too tiring to care too much.

Yea. I admit I somehow relate to these reasons. It is too hard to gauge others' feeling or opinion. Even myself, I am sometimes uncertain about my own feeling.

I was having a hard time to get along with my gang because they are much more sensitive than the people I had met previously. I find them annoying, complicating trivial matters, especially when it comes to assignment, I get frustrated very easily because I wanted to get things done effectively without wasting much time in "taking care about others' feeling". It is very frustrating when they are so reluctant to voice out their opinions in group chat because they care about others feeling, but how am I going to know their opinions via the phone screen wor cries. So we have to deal with each other via pm, and I need to pm here n there to ensure no miscommunication and everyone is aligned. Imagine the amount of time I need to spend on this gg.

However after some time, I find myself learning to be more considerate, especially when dealing with big gang of friends (my gang is the largest in my class). Sometimes I still fail to take into account everyone's feeling because I am just a normal human being and I am not paid for this pls. I know there are people who will appreciate and work relationship will improve in long term. The feeling is really good when your work is being appreciated and your feeling is being concerned. Learn to take into account one's personality, communication method, background and work style.

I become more grateful to have my friends too. They take initiative to help out and care about my feeling when I need to stay up whole night to amend or redo the assignment. Although I would be more than happy if they could deliver better work to me sobs.

It seems so stupid right. Spending my precious time on others.

We might hurt ourselves when we are kind. But still. I choose to be kind. That makes me happier. Teehee.

But it is very important to know when to stop when taking care about others. Got to love myself first before I can love others right. Also must know who we should spend time with.

So kawan kawanku pls appreciate CY when she spent her time chatting or makan with you k HAHA.

P.S.
GG today very lazy

Haih why can't people stop procrastinating or being last min 

Aha

Saw Yung Yie happily shared her excitement at her Insta story. She asked why I seem so calm and emotionless. 

Am I exited? Perhaps I am excited at the second I glanced my mark at my paper.

Instead of excitement, I would say it's sense of relief. There's no need for me to over pressure myself to score in finals, although I'll still work hard for it huehue. Luckily I didn't disappoint my tutor! Hard work pays off!

It seems weird that I'll feel very bad throughout the whole day if I screw up my paper, but I won't feel very excited if I manage to score (still got room for improvement)? 

Maybe just too overwhelmed by unfinished work. I need a break. Urgh.

Haih

I dunno why
I just feel so bad and guilty
For allowing such thoughts across my mind

:\

The best feeling in the world

我之前的答案是大便很顺

今天我觉得
当做assignment顺过大便时
才是真正的爽啊哈哈哈

Cause I've a bad day, and a bad week.

Nah so as per the title this is another post spreading negativity. Today's mid term test is doable, with some extremely easy questions, which I had practiced this early morning before test.

But still guess what. I confused few parts of the question and ended up screw up most of the calculation questions.

Wow. How smart was I. I guess I am the only one in the course who did such silly mistake! Because the question is really easy man! How to forgive myself? How? I don't blame myself for not knowing how to do the question if it's very difficult, but please! Simple question like this weihhhhh.

送分给我我还丢分的节奏，当场只想打死自己算了。

Today was a bad day not only because of my stupidity. I was forced to wait for another hour because the uni sent an extremely mini size bus to my hostel today. I was penalised for RM2 because I forgot to renew my library books online. My mum nagged me for wanting to have some nice food after a long week. Makes me so regret to come home at the moment when I got onto her car. The food I ordered was really bad. So was the customer service.

The ice cream was delicious but it melted too fast. I couldn't even get to enjoy it because I forced myself to finish it as soon as possible. Dinner was a bad one too. So was the customer service, environment and my parent's attitude.

But still! It's okayyyyyy. Today is gonna end soon and can't be even worse right haha. Since Ive screwed up my mid term, then just work harder for finals lur. Not the end of the world yet. :) Like what I told Vincent, nobody is gonna care about how much you score during your mid term after you start working. It just me hating myself for being stupid and careless. But at least no need make good for this subject la haha.

Still managed to have spent some time talking with my parents. Guess I've learnt to get over my bad mood quick, even better than my parents lol. Because I know negativity spreads faster than diseases, better stop it before it gets even worse.

Actually when I was typing this, I didn't have any bad feelings anymore lol. Just rambling a bit la hehe being bitchy lol.

Sort of missing some nice food. And sweet drinks like boba. It's my 20th day without boba.

Work hard for finals then! Another positive side is, just three more semesters, can't pull down my CGPA a lot hahaha. Next semester definitely will be an easy one la. Teehee.

Just got an update from my friend that a tutor passed away. Every thing I complaint just now was so trivial in front of death. But still I need to write it out so I'll feel better la hehe. Deepest condolences to the tutor's family.

Easy paper but still screw up

Why how wae
Urgh

Haih

Warning: This is gonna be a long post about me rambling about my mid term. Stop reading if you were having a bad day or wish to read something cheerful! I don't wanna ruin your mood man.

I thought I was well prepared, mentally well prepared. Tutor had told us that this mid term test is gonna be a very tough one, and the next thing my classmates did was rushing home to study, skipping tutorials lol. Never see them leaving classroom that fast.

I didn't suspect the truthfulness of my tutor's statement. In fact, SBL is the subject I struggle the most in my uni. Last semester's mid term test was disaster and I got my first ever 53 mark. I didn't fail because my tutor was kind. Luckily I managed to score well during finals! God bless weihhhhhh

I had been working hard for this subject because I don't want to screw up my mid term again. I don't want to experience the stress to score at least 90 in my finals just to maintain my CGPA. Besides, I have to sit for ACCA external paper for this subject, which means I cannot say sayonara to my SBL textbooks after finals. Gosh. Die die also need to find a way to get along with this 傻逼啦.

However, I still screw up my mid term. Haih. After reading the questions few times, I still couldn't understand the question requirements. Time constraint is another pain as I have no time to question my life and have to start bull shitting! I literally copied the whole exhibit because Vincent managed to gain marks by copying it last year. Can tell how desperate I was.

Anyway, I have tried my best this time, just a bit disappointed because I didn't manage to interpret the question properly and felt that I could've done much better. :(

Think on the bright side! If I really need to make good, I can definitely pass because make good is as easy as ABC. Soon Weng nearly scored full marks last time hahaha. Since I managed to score a B+ with mid term score of 53, maybe I can do this again too! Still got chance whatttt

Pray hard. Urgh. 

Bello bello, long post alert!

Wanna find myself an excuse to not study, although I have two papers next week and one assignment pending due to procrastination. For this semester, there is only one mid term test for both core subjects. Usually, we have two mid term tests for one subject. The pro is to mitigate the risk as one paper means do or die. But the con is need to experience the exam stress twice. Since Ive been studying consistently, it makes no difference for me. Think on the bright side, scoring high means no need to worry much for finals! But low chance thou.

I have been working hard for my SBL due to bad experience in previous semester, however I noticed most of my coursemates don't really care about this subject, weird. Thanks to Dr Amy, I kinda start to grasp the answer techniques for SBL. I used to complain about the need to prepare slides for tutorial, but I realize I understand better when revising. Probably is due to the amount of effort I've been putting in? Hope my mid term results won't disappoint her and myself!

I have reduced my frequency in skipping lecture classes this semester! Achievement unlocked? Finally we got a teacher who really know how to explain accounting treatment in layman terms! He is so dedicated and even offer additional classes for us! Can tell he is trying his best to make us stay awake in class by creating some weird stories and singing birthday songs for our classmates lol. Sincerely appreciate his effort thou.

Another reason of skipping class less frequently is to spend more time with my friends and don't want to mafan them to mark attendance on behalf of me. Probably after experiencing internship, we have become more mature? Although there is obvious distinction between our mindset and goal, we learnt how to get along and tolerate each other. I still dislike how they spent much time on worrying or over analyzing trivial matters, but I will just ignore it lol.  Really appreciate to have the guys! Or else I don't know who should I share my thoughts with and show my true colours with. Now I don't really have a roommate cause she stays with her bf (but she's paying the rental so I'm extremely fine with itme), I cherish of being able to have control of my time! Although I miss her sometimes, but I feel now we manage to sort out a better way to get along with each other too.

My sister just told me her Chinese oral test is about "my sister and I". I was so shocked. To me, I feel our personalities are so different and I admit I don't know how to tolerate her sometimes. I would say I'm closer with my brother because we always share the same thoughts. Anyway really gamdong when my sister was mad at how the instructor challenged her content, as she shared that she and I have the same thoughts about our parents, and somehow the instructor disagreed lol. Hope that this won't affect her oral test marks! Shouldn't the instructor focus on her fluency and grammar? How could she judge when she's not the one experiencing all the nightmares or pains in the family?

Oh, I realize I've started to embrace the differences among people. Maybe I've learnt that not everyone express their loves or thoughts the same? But I still believe in the importance of communication. Assumptions ruin a relationship. Should learn how to make someone comfortable in a conversation. Ahe.

Received a long message from Roshan last week. Which was totally unexpected lol. Like. Who will send a farewell message after one month? I feel bad for sending birthday wishes late. Haha. I'm really grateful that I still able to kacau some of my colleagues :P Why Darren buy them nice food after I left so unfair cries! However their crazy working hours make me worry thou. Can't imagine how my life would be in future. Hope my dear could understand that. He has been very busy too. :( Another concern is office politics. Can I cope with it? Am I being well treated because I was an intern who do nor bring harm to them?

Life in ICMS isn't as hectic as when I'm holding position as president in accounting society. Less dramas. Less problems. I really hate my university academic calendar! How I wish I could've joined the team in planning I2 or MPPC. :( Lets don't talk about how many opportunities I've missed cries. However I still try my best to contribute. Thanks to Samantha who pushed me to sign up for Summer Retreat, as I nearly gave up due to studies (that's why my assignment is still pending). Great time well spent! Since I barely involved in much planning of events, hence I guess Summer Retreat is a great chance for me to interact with the team in real life.

Sharing session by ANC is fruitful too. I can totally relate their sharing with my previous internship experience. Be genuine. It takes too much effort to fake. Why don't you spend more time on something more meaningful? E.g. sleep!

However after coming back from Summer Retreat I've been finding excuse for not exercising. Time to get my butt away from the chair!

To get some food :P not going gym sorry haha

Fighting huehue

Never never never procrastinate 

出来行 预了要还

Moral of the story
Never procrastinate ahhhh

Unforgettable Father's Day

I couldn't recall when was the last time five of us happily chatting in the car, went shopping and dined out. As usual there isn't any proper Father's Day celebration because my family is typical Asian family whom everyone is too shy to express their love (except me? haha) Dad is very fond of my present. Unexpected reaction from him haha. It is a simple gift which costs less than ten bucks, I think he wasn't that happy when I gave him power bank last year (but in the end he is the one who uses it frequently lol).

This year has been a tough year for our family, but thanks god everything seems to be getting better? Nah I am unsure whether the difficult times have passed, but I believe as long as we are together, the rest would be fine.

P.S.
Carrie Lam had agreed to suspend the extradition bill. Although she isn't withdrawing the bill, still a major win for them. Surprisingly there is an increasing number of residents joining the today's mass rally... Will things get better, or become uncontrolled? What will happen next? I just hope nobody gets injured.

心酸

说好的新马来西亚
最后还是各自为政
为一己私利 忽略自身本分
搞好经济 让大家有三餐温饱 买得起房子
真的那么难吗?

看到男男性爱的新闻时
我恍惚了 我还以为他们错误报道几年前的案子
原来 一切都没变
感觉这次更下级 lol

只希望闹剧早日结束

P.S.
God bless Hong Kong

Cries

I start to feel tired easily these days. Although I still wake up automatically at 4 a.m. but I try to sleep back. Then ended up had nightmare and suffered more. Not sure whether I'm pushing myself too hard or my efficiency level drop haih. Maybe still need some time ya. Luckily still have raya break during week 2, so I could take some time to rest and study. I have been trying very hard to stay away from social media, it worked since yesterday! Gotta stop wasting time and procrastinating.

Have spent my raya holiday to reflect on myself. It's not easy to admit and embrace my flaws, but have to la. Hope to not exert any pressure or cause any unease to others, especially my loved ones. Learn to be more empathy and don't be so demanding and clingy. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, don't drop my phone anymore! Hahaha have to be more mindful la. I wish I could pick up my driving skills before I start working (which is one year later? Hmm). Thanks to my bf who willing to risk his life and car to teach me driving! I don't wanna murder any road user leh gg. Haih but no car for me to practice my driving skill... how leh

One of my colleague have posted a belated farewell post, which is very surprising. But still appreciate his wishes for my studies. I really need it omg haha. Anyway internship feels like long time ago for me now. Although last Friday was my farewell, which was just.... seven days ago? Now my daily concern has become how to pass my SBs hahaha. 

Life without Skype for Business

During my last week, Roshan has been asking me how could I survive without Skyping someone as I always Skype and chat with someone WITHOUT delaying my work. That's the origin of the title of my blog post.

I wanted to skip classes throughout this whole week so I could enjoy one more week break! BUT. I have to attend classes la. I feel I have been procrastinating a lot lately and I need to find the motivation or pressure to restart the engine to study.

Now there are more students staying in my condo, I nearly couldn't get onto bus although I waited since 7.10 AM lol. I was daydreaming during first lecture while finding the mood to study during lecture like what I used to do. Obviously failed haih.

Second lecture was much better. Finally we got a decent lecturer who could explain according treatment well. At least I could understand by paying attention during his class. Vincent is right about the lecturer's English proficiency, at least he speaks decent English without weird or annoying slang. I have been salty about the quality of my uni's lecturers who teach accounting related subjects because we study accounting major course but the accounting lecturers are the worst as compared to other subjects.

Problem of this subject is we haven't get our textbook (forcing students to purchase textbooks is another issue to ramble) and I couldn't find the latest version in library. This means that I couldn't start studying or prep before class. Besides, the annoying part is this subject has only one mid term test which I couldn't afford to screw up urgh. The date has been set. I have seven weeks more.

Then we had a 30 minutes short break to proceed to next class. I was very unwilling to attend this tutorial class because this subject was my worst (I hope my upcoming subjects won't break this record) and I had bad impression towards my tutor who was my lecturer last sem. Surprisingly I found her interesting and dedicated as a tutor. I finally got some guidance in method to answer the questions properly! Four hours tutorial was torturing especially when she talked a lot and I couldn't manage to self study. But she's better than my last tutor. And surprisingly again, she's very interested in me despite she warned me not to play phone during class and not to leave the classroom while she's speaking (my bad la). I hope her attention towards me could pressure myself to work harder. No more screwed up mid term anymore pls! I think I have another six weeks for this subject.


Anyway I managed to study a littleeee bit today and control my time spent on social media. But I believe I could've done better! This week will be my last week meeting up with friends unless necessary. Must start working hard before regret.

So might be less blog updates from now on. I hope the subsequent post will no longer be my targeted marks for finals to score A. If I manage to score well during mid term, I could be more chilled after then.

FIGHTING WOOHOO

Oh ya blending back into university wasn't that difficult as predicted. I was over worried I guess. The transition from workplace to student life was super fast when I was informed about the d day. Sibeh stressed out during SBR lecture xia. Why one mid term test only cries.

Been grateful that my stupid and annoying bf is still by my side after my internship. 不要那么欠打可以吗

Intern小记10

Still couldn't believe it. I'm not going back level 40 anymore. No need to wear formal. Don't have to struggle with crashing workbook and system down anymore.

I wanted to give my colleagues a surprise, so I planned to leave after everyone left the office on Thursday. My plan almost failed hahaha but it was a good talk with the guys. So touched when Roshan passed me my evaluation form, although he knew I no longer need it. Too bad I forgot to take picture of the evaluation forms given by others!

I was overwhelmed by sadness after Thursday lunch. It was an impromptu lunch, too bad Aidan couldn't make it. However if he was there, I believe the guys won't dare to share it in front of Aidan hahaha. Another sad part is I couldn't have farewell lunch with Aidan, ew will miss him. Didn't even say a proper goodbye to him. And Kristen. She'll be missed and I'll save her ugly photo in my phone hahaha.

Friday dinner turn out rate was beyond expectation. Even Ikram came. I wanted to sit with my original team but it's okayyyy. It's been a long time I laughed so much and didn't realise time flies and how much I ate. We went drinking for second round but there wasn't many people joining so I left early. Waiting for MRT and LRT was extremely frustrating at night time, especially when phone battery is dying! I believe my blog post will be much longer if I write after dinner. Dad has been scolding me for bathing at late hours because I was talking with Malvin (and Daniel who only concerned about the new girl) until 2a.m. He has been so busy these few days that we didn't talk properly to each other. Bet some of them gonna miss meeee (perasannya).

It was a memorable 16 weeks. Am sincerely grateful to meet and work with these people (not some but nah).

Time to start the engine to study! It'll take some time to blend myself back to university after this. Thank God I have one year to figure out what I want!

No more intern related post anymore! Huehue

Sorry for being so negative

Staying at home for three days and I never so desire to go back to hostel. Obviously the reason is because my dad couldn't sleep well and he didn't go to work. This sounds bad but I'm just gonna face my true feeling. Getting tired of being wake up for nothing, can't do my work properly because need to follow their always changing schedule according to my dad's mood, face all the negativity in the early morning, always listen to complaints about my siblings like I'm the root cause of their actions.

Yeah I know, I know they're my family, I know they raised me up, I know. I know. I've been growing up with all these ..... non sense? Stop please. Concealing my true feelings couldn't help anymore now. Yeah because I'm a grown up now. Like the Chinese saying, my wings getting harder, just try your best to accuse me. I'm getting used to it ady.

The question I afraid my colleagues ask about is, why don't you stay with your parents? Where should I start to answer them? I really appreciate Jinyi's effort in trying to tell me, that there's no family who don't fight or argue or hate each other.

But what if it's not about fighting? It's about feeling uncomfortable, getting yell or shout, always being forced to go or do sth I don't want to, feel being not respected (wah you wanna ask for respect in Asian Family? DAY DREAMING)...

Anyway, just wanna rant before I start crying in front of them. What makes me feel bad is, I love them. And I know they love each other too, but just.... they hurt us the most too.

Complicated kan?

P.S.
Wow can't believe I'm excited to see client's face tmr morning GG

Intern小记9

Okay I guess I should update more because I'm going to end my internship soon and there'll be no more internship related post haha. But my friend said can't even understand what's my job scope or role through reading my blog post. Because I wrote random feelings or stuffs rather than what I did during my internship. It's blog post, not intern report. And I'm always random haha.

This week wasn't as bad as expected. Maybe I'm getting used to send emails, trying to explain the defects with my clumsy English (gotta work hard to improve my language!)

Guess what, Aidan praised me! That was so unexpected! Because I always very ganjiong when reporting to him, and I stammered a lot cries.

Let's have an overview on CY's last third week:
Monday -  sneaked into UAT sign off to geh po wakaka. Clearing defect wasn't smooth because the system was naughty amboi. Had a bad lunch but got to eat delicious Thai food for dinner with Daniel! Thanks for fetching me to the nearest train station hehe.
Tuesday - first time dealing directly with Fathiah omg was so scared and completed a task in the morning which ended up useless due to some changes. Malvin was so funny while introducing me the books he like lol. Managed to leave on time and have nice steamboat dinner with boyfriend who always tolerate and love me unconditionally. Steamboat da best during rainy day!
Wednesday - I managed to control myself from having Llao Llao and Koi! Besides finally settle the defect which had been dragged since last Friday! First time in my life received an email in high importance xia scare af leh. The chao gui diao was nice although got tauge haha
Thursday - the team (including Aidan and Daphnee omg paiseh af) waited for me because clumsy CY forgot to bring her pass gg. The KFC is really nice although unhealthy. Had tealive for only 2 bucks~
Friday - the senior manager belanja me Starbucks and we got to leave on time! (er is early lah haha) Got my evaluation form from Aidan :)

I'm unsure whether things are getting better (lol since when it's good?) or my mood is not affected by hormone anymore (the reason of last week's mood swing had been verified due to hormone), I was quite happy and tired at the same time. Am I happy because I'm going to out of this shit (eh language girl)? But I don't feel like going back to study haih.

P.S.
This post is detailed and lengthy because I'm bored while waiting for my mum to pick me from LRT zzzz..... It's been half an hour....

Life goal?

Hilmy shared with me his life goal today. His goal is so clear and he has plans to achieve it.

Gosh, I don't know what my life goal is. Problem with Chinese school kid like me is, I kiasu. Takkan people got life goal but I don't have one haha.

Can my life goal just to be happy and contented throughout my life? Sounds like a kid tho. Haha.


Maybe I should've think about this seriously.

Nah, I should sleep. It's ady 3AM haha.

My recent pet phrase: Time flies.

Was reading my previous blog posts and noticed I didn't do a summary for year 2018. Guess I was extremely tied up. Shouldn't break the tradition of summarizing every year to record the moments in my life. Let's try to write my first summary post in English! Have decided to express myself more in English to improve my language.

Internship
One word to describe my internship - "unexpected".

Getting my internship offer was unexpectedly fast. Received phone call in less than 24 hours after submitting my CV. I was so stubborn and decided not to submit through uncle or my connection just to prove that I am capable enough (childish intention). Didn't get my first choice but ended up spending my whole internship in a project which is under Advisory Department (not complaining). The project is very interesting, eye opening and challenging as it is an entirely new concept, which might be the future of digitalisation?

Was lost and scared when I first joined the team. Can't forget the moment when I found out my name wasn't registered in the system but I didn't know who to ask for help. Prianka was my life savior! Nobody on boarded me, had no choice but forced to learn swimming myself to barely survive. I am grateful that I am very lucky because nothing bad had happened to me (stuck at lobby and no air cond are considered as fine as compared to others' experience), and we got more seniors joining the team and provided better guidance. Tried drinking beer for the first time in my life. Played games and talked shit during work. Been treating myself so good by having nice food (but no more kfry pls).

13 weeks have passed extremely fast and I have settled my evaluation forms and intern report. Still drafting my farewell email (I'm really bad at writing emails). Mixed feelings but I think it's time to prepare to go back to uni!

The pro of having internship in the midst of studying is you get to know your area of improvement and still got time to improve yourself before starting your career (a.k.a. get into jail). Let's see whether CY will become a better one after one year!

好 我不是一个坚持的人 我还是写华语好了哈哈
ACS
不知道多少次我后悔了当初去选主席这个决定
尤其是每次为了无谓的事情争吵时 心累啊
但不可否认自己成长了很多 也意识到自己的缺点
带领一群性格不同的人真的不易
对他们七个人也是又爱又恨
爱Ray疯狂又有创意的idea 恨他last min和爱理不理 但他回来了 我真的很开心!
认识了很多朋友 尤其感激那些赏脸参加我们活动的
一切美好的苦涩的 终究会成为回忆
最大的遗憾就是缺席了卸任的AGM 没有做到有始有终

好 写写下就懒惰了哈哈哈
就此搁笔 看几时坐火车有mood再写

P.S.
今年是多事之秋啊
我只希望爸爸早日可以找到稳定的工作
不用那么辛苦 如果找不到的话就希望他生意兴隆? 哈哈
妈妈的身体健健康康 不要胡思乱想
妹妹SPM过关 顺顺利利 不要fail
我弟就... 自生自灭吧哈哈哈（我知道他可以的）
我家肥仔不要乱花钱（好啦他进步很多了）

至于我自己嘛 我向来只相信靠自己哈哈哈
身边的人好 我就好呗

好啦 真的搁笔啦 拜

Intern小记8

My plan was to leave office at 6.30P.M. THEN? THEN? THEN?

A phone call changed everything. Jinyi was informed that she's going to roll off this project. Today was her last day. And everyone was informed just now, literally 6 sth? Omg.. Even Aidan wasn't infomed about it at all?

Was shocked because it affected my plan! I was planning to ask Kristen to request me to work with her. Although I don't really like the team members, but I like working with her, and is tired with the current team lead of my team. I don't want to OT a lot too urgh. I don't mind OT, but I hate OT due to inefficiency.

So. They need someone to replace her. And I think it's the first time Aidan smiling at me that way omg. Please don't weih haha. Although I'm unsure on the current plan, but I have assumed that I'm taking over her job now. She's even briefing me on her another team's work.... omg... Don't like this leh hahaha.

Time flies btw. I still rmb the day she joined us, we went to grab llao llao because got 33% off.... N next Wed is the 33% off ady. Even Darren is planning to roll off. He said, it's good to feel time flies as it means we are occupied with sth.

Today was not very smooth too. Workbook crashed. T63 couldn't log in. Didn't manage to settle PIP today. Means more work on Monday lah zz. And there's one user banyak pattern I'm so scared omg. Luckily the manager was a kind and nice guy. (I totally agree with his statement!! Compare my workload with the Petronas intern! Zzzz but I hate printing so it's fine haha)

Anyway, I just hope things get better (how could it be when there's no right ppl in the team?)

CHEERS

Intern小记7

I really don't know what happened to me. I was very very excited this morning although there is an UAT session ongoing at early morning and obviously we have lack of manpower to help out. Really appreciate to have Malvin who came and helped! Was quite cigek because they didn't prepare enough tables and chairs and we have to steal some from the pantry HHAHAHA. Interesting experience. Darren and Malvin were wondering at the reason I'm on cloud nine (even me myself).

UAT session was considered as very smooth and it ended at 12 sth! We went to Chinese stall and the curry mee was really delicious! But I started to don't feel like talking at all. Just want to stay away from everyone. Even llao llao can't give me happiness anymore! I guess the portion is too small? Or because I accidentally ate some tauge?

Things got worse after lunch when I was compiling defects. Again thanks Malvin for being helpful weih! I bet it's a vicious cycle? I got more inefficient when I got frustrated, and I was even angrier at myself when I was slow! I even started to hate people for no reason weih omg..

Anyway, I am still being extremely grateful to have good seniors. Darren volunteered to take my charger for me (when the charger was just in front of me HAHAHA) and he went to Level 46 with me because I was too blurred. He moved because he wanted me to sit more comfortably. And provide damn clear guidance in email maybe because he knows I'm blurred af hahaha. And also Malvin who had so many stuffs on his plate but still helped me to log defects. Thanks Roshan and Jinyi for chasing me home too.

Urgh. I guess it's just because of hormone? Or just I get upset at some people's work attitude? But I'm just an intern, why do I even need to care about it?

Updates after 30 minutes: CY IS HAPPY AND CONTENTED NOW BECAUSE SHE APPEARS IN SOMEONE'S LINKEDIN STATUS HAHSJSJHDJDKKDKD

Mood swing af kan? Haih

Post specially dedicated to my bf

My mum was keep telling me that I'm gonna meet better men (nah I rmb the 算命佬 said is 烂桃花 tho) after I start working.

Maybe internship is too short for me to meet a better guy? HAHAHA.

Guess what, although I'm working with bunch of guys, keep telling everyone I'm falling crazy for one guy (which I don't even get the chance to talk or work with him lol), every night after I off from my work, I am sincerely grateful to have my bf.

It's not about because how good he is treating me (nah he's treating me damn good lah of course hahaha).

It's about the feeling that, he is the one (disclaimer: for now lah of course nobody is going to guarantee what's going to happen in future ok I'm being conservative on this).

Maybe I never imagine one day I can have someone who tolerates me, let me be myself, brings laughter into my life? It feels like too good to be true, u know. How could it be? (Can imagine my bf scolding me stupid and thinking too much now haha)

I'm even feeling guilty because I felt I didn't contribute much into our relationship after I started my internship, should really think of sth hehe.

Thank you for everything.

Intern小记6

It seems like it just happened yesterday.

I just found out one of my colleagues is the manager. Gosh, she's giving off the chill and young vibes tho. Still remember the third day I joined the project, she was being nice to me and on boarded me informally (nah her position explains why she's doing that haha). She just came to talk to me and Roshan, then surprised at the fact that I am leaving soon.

Yeah, I'm surprised too. Time flies man. Especially when getting Daniel back to this project (I'm more than happy to see him! But too bad he's so busy and I don't feel like talking when there are too many people) for few days, makes me feel like he and Ai Ping just left here no longer ago?

Vinod, Zoey and Tik just left, few days ago? I had lost my interest in skyping anyone tho. Dont even feel like talking aish haha.

Extended my internship, wish I could stay till the end of project. Quoted Roshan, this project isn't good but it's enjoyable to work with people here!

Now workload is getting heavier. Luckily I've done my intern report earlier (I'm smart kan haha)! Means I gain more chances to help out, although I felt I screwed up sometimes gg.

Maybe Darren is right, I'm too afraid to fail? But I strongly believe that ensuring my work are completed correctly without creating any trouble to anyone is the correct work ethic. Serious, I noticed I really HATE bringing any trouble to anyone! No matter related to work or not. Even asking help from bf makes me feel guilty omg...

Receiving exit email indicates I'm leaving real soon. But I'm not prepared. How. Urgh.