First (and Hopefully Last) Car Accident Experience

 "Bang, saya langgar kereta saya, bagaimana claim insuran ya?"

"Huh, banyak cepatnya," 

That's my car sales agent's response to the news of me involving in car accident after getting my new car for merely one month. Same goes to my family members and friends. I consider myself lucky as it was a minor accident without injuries, and I was able to cope with the emotional trauma after the accident.

The accident happened in August, when I was heading home after attending an event. As a beginner driver, that was my first time driving in an area which I'm not familiar with. The leading cause of the accident was me driving into the incorrect lane. I was supposed to drive into the middle or left lane of a three-lane road as my intention was to go straight ahead after the traffic lights. However, I accidentally drove into the right lane which only serves for right turning purpose. I didn't realize my mistake as I thought we could either go straight or turn right in the right lane.

The correct lane usage

That misjudgement had led me to bang into a Mercedes Benz E-class. The luxury car was at my left hand side and the driver, who's a Malay uncle wanted to turn right after the traffic lights, without noticing a clumsy baby driver was trying to violate the rules and go straight ahead. Eventually, my tiny Axia's left front bumper "kissed" the Mercedes' driver side door. 

Red arrow - me (Axia);

Blue arrow - uncle (Mercedes).

"I'm going to be disowned by my parents," that was my instant reaction after I heard a bang (Signs of growing up with Asian Chinese parents). Fortunately, that was not a loud bang. I quickly got down from my car to check the condition of the Mercedes. Deep down inside, I was praying that the driver would neither yell nor blackmail me. The uncle was so frustrated, but his anger was slowly suppressed after me apologizing non-stop and promised that I would be liable for the damages. I bet he saw my P plate too. Upon checking, we noticed that his right front door's car painting had peeled off. I was relieved that there wasn't any serious damages caused to his car. A poor fresh graduate like me couldn't afford to pay the astronomical repair fees of a Mercedes.

Mercedes

However, my heart sank after examining my car's condition. The injuries were worse than expected.  My one-month old car's front bumper was damaged and my left front door was dented. But still, luckily my car's headlight was not busted and its ability to operate was not impeded.

Axia

I called my dad and he asked me to report to police instead of private settlement. (Let's not talk about his long angry speech.) Again, I would say I was very fortunate because the police station was just few minutes driving distance away. And also, my boyfriend happened to be driving behind my car when the accident happened. Having him by my side calmed me down as I heard of multiple road bully cases happened to female drivers. 

Besides, I was extremely grateful to receive timely assistance from my car sales agent to contact Perodua repair center and provide guidance. The car foreman reached out to me and sent his staff to drive my car to the repair centre. That was the best arrangement as I wasn't in a good condition to drive. I removed all my belongings from the car and passed my car keys to the foreman. They even helped me to settle my car insurance claims without me undergoing the troublesome procedures. 

Filing a police report wasn't difficult as I had experience in assisting my mum to file police report when she had a car accident last year. However, I made a mistake in misspelling my car plate number. As the details in the police report are crucial to claim car insurance, I had to travel to the police station in the subsequent week to file another police report to amend the mistakes.

Apart from my mistake, I didn't encounter any issue in the police reporting procedures. The police sergeant who dealt with my case was polite and handled my case efficiently. He even educated me on tips to drive properly and assured me that my parents will still love me even I hit a car. The Mercedes driver was kind too. He didn't scold me for my mistakes in hitting his beloved car which was just newly painted. 

As the car accident was my fault, I received my first ever saman trafik (Not a proud achievement) which caused me RM300. Then, I was fortunate enough to have my boyfriend sending me home after the exhausting incident.

It took me approximately 3 weeks to get my car back. I couldn't tell how much I miss my car after sending it to repair. I did concern about me traumatized after the traffic accident, but my urge to learn driving and be an independent adult had conquered my fear. I became more cautious in driving and spent more time practicing driving. There's neither shortcut nor theory to become a good driver. Learning to drive demand a lot of practice before reaching expert level. 

Keep calm and drive safely 

Best thing happening in 2020 - new job!

Job Offer

I received an unexpected job offer on a Friday evening, one week before the end of my probation period. I had made a daring decision - quit before I received the offer letter. Honestly I wouldn't recommend to quit without a written offer in hand, but I believed that was the best decision for me and the firm. I was required to serve only one week notice period during my probation period, but in the view that my probation would be ending soon, I would need to serve a longer notice period when the commencement date of new job offer was two weeks later. Besides, my unexpected resignation during peak periods would give my team a heart attack and an early notice would provide more time for resources allocation and smoother handover process, especially when I had 2 new upcoming jobs in hand. 

The job prospects of my new job had led me to be a risk taker with a backup plan - I received an invitation to interview with another Big 4 and the expected commencement date was the upcoming month. I felt bad for potentially wasting the time of HR and interviewer, especially when the HR was very nice to me and the firm was in fact my first choice. 

After weighing on both job offers, I made a painful decision to turn down the job offer from my first choice company. I do prefer to join the firm but not as an IT auditor, although I was assured that the job scope would beyond IT audit. I refused to sign myself up for another black hole, just for empty promises that there are chances to transfer internally to my preferred department.

The final decision was to stick with my current offer and entered into a new work environment with more uncertainties ahead.

Resignation

My resignation was not well received by the management. It was IT auditor's peak period and the team was facing tight manpower constraint. Thankfully the management accepted my job offer without making things hard for me.

Serving notice period was the beginning of suffocating experience. I wanted to maintain my reputation and serve my notice period professionally by completing my unfinished work and handover my jobs appropriately. Sadly, dramas happened even though I was the smallest potato in the team. There were gossips, bad mouthing, jealousy, backstabbing, colleagues maintaining distance (It's important to maintain social distancing btw! Let's flatten the curve together!) and difficult questions. It hurt me the most when my closest acquaintance accused me for being childish and naive because I wanted to look for a better work environment. 

My ICMS experience reminded me to maintain professionalism despite the horrible experience. I remained diplomatic with my ex colleagues, tried my best to provide assistance in handover, and most importantly, resisted the urge to complain. I diverted my attention to the life lesson I've learnt from this job and the started to look forward to a new life with these toxic people. I had informal chats with people who had helped me, including the department secretary and the janitor. I reached out to my performance manager for our first and very last lunch. I even smiled and waved goodbye to a senior who was rude and impolite to me - although she ignore me as usual. 

So what? It's all behind me now. Reading the messages from my ex colleagues complaining about the same issues again reassures me that quitting is the best decision I had made in 2020. There's a risk that my new job is not my ideal one, but it's definitely much better than me staying in the awfully negative environment.

Goodbye

I have taken a week break before starting my new job to slowly recover from the traumatized experience. I do appreciate all the precious life lessons and important workplace survival skills. Perhaps it's a training ground for transitioning me into the cruel working adult's world. I start to be more grateful with all the nice people I've met in my life. And also, words couldn't express my gratitude for successfully securing jobs in a 2 different Big 4 during this unprecedented time.

Time for a new chapter.

I quit my first job!

Same day of the previous month was my last day for my first job. Before this, I had quit some part time or temporary jobs. This was my first time quitting a full time job, which had only lasted for 3 months.

Quitting this job was a painful experience, yet a wise decision. My initial plan was to quit by end of the year or after getting bonus as I was informed that my first choice company planned to freeze hiring. Their earliest intake was targeted to be in Jan 2021, which I suspected might be postponed due to the third COVID-19 wave in Malaysia.

However, the thought of quitting came across my mind sooner than I expected, which was after my first few weeks in this job.

Not Right

I constantly felt like an outsider in my team, even after I was assigned to an engagement. The feeling of discomfort while getting along with my team was beyond the factor of me being new to the team. I had been observing the team dynamics and work style, which I noticed was extremely different from mine. 

My colleagues were extremely cold and distant. From my understanding of the nature of professional workplace culture, the appropriate expectation is neutral relationship with coworkers. My expectation was common courtesy from my colleagues, not expecting to become best friends with every single one of my work colleagues. The biggest turnoff was they neither smile nor greet when bumping into others in the hallway or toilet, except when you are their gang member. The horrible gang mentality had stopped me from putting effort into socializing.

Besides, the way my seniors delegated work to me was unprofessional and their instructions were always unclear. I couldn't feel the teamwork spirit to complete our engagement together, instead the team seemed like wanted to fulfill the minimum requirements and get paid without much effort. The team seemed to care about getting their work done more than our long term professional development. I had read through their work deliverables and documents, which were surprisingly disorganized. Witnessing frequent workplace bullying, gossip and terrible communication were the red flags that screamed "quit this job" to me.

I knew things were so wrong when I found people justifying all the shits happening in the workplace, while deep down all of us were aware of the toxic work environment was more than a job we hate. I thought of reaching out to the management to voice out my concerns or seek for advice, yet the pessimistic feedback from the experienced associates had put me off. 

I also considered to consult my performance manager on the challenges faced, but the management was unresponsive to the new joiners' request to assign us with a performance manager. Ridiculously, the admin manager only took action after I told him assigning performance manager is the first step of my employee confirmation process. However, it was too late as I had made up my mind to quit.

The Deal Breaker

I knew that it was actually the time to walk away when I realized I had signed myself up as an IT auditor without realizing it! When I applied to this job, I was expecting the nature of work to be a combination of  assurance and consulting. IT audit was merely one line of the entire job descriptions. However, after looking into the list of projects, I found out that IT audit was my ONLY job scope. I, someone who dislike audit, became an IT auditor without realizing it! Same goes to the other fresh graduates who joined the team at the same time with me.

I am concerned that the skills and knowledge learnt are not aligned with my career interest in automation or digital solution. As the world is embracing digital transformation, I reckon that tapping into these areas would be value adding for my future career and the job skills would allow me to stay relevant in the industry. Although becoming an IT auditor could gain knowledge about the application system and databases, I realized IT audit is very specialist and restrictive. Rather than providing insights into the system functionality, IT audit focuses on assessing the effectiveness of the IT controls and procedures, which the exit options do not fit my long term career pathway. 

The management has been putting effort into expanding the team's portfolio, but lack of expertise would be the major challenge. After reading their CV, I noticed the management and seniors' skills are limited to either financial statement audit or IT audit. I had witnessed them struggling with a new project for several months due to incompetencies, yet the income of project wasn't lucrative. It would take time for the team to develop new skills to attract more clients, whilst the signs of limited learning opportunities had pushed me to actively seek for exit opportunities.

Concerns

Quitting a job after a short period of time might damage my reputation in the industry, whilst one of the common advice is that it's better if I could stick to my first job for at least one year. I didn't want to be perceived as an unreliable job hopper at the initial stages of my career. At the same time, I was more concerned that spending time in a job which I hate would turn out to be even more terrible for my career growth and negatively impact my performance. 

I decided to quit only after saying yes to a job offer that matches with my career goal. It would be unwise to quit first and job hunt second due to the competitive job market and financial considerations. I'm an adult who should be financial independent and accountable to pay plenty of bills myself. Working a job that I don't passionate about but allows me to pay my bills is part of adulting, and I do acknowledge the learning opportunities: providing insights from the perspective of an IT auditor, dealing with difficult people, learning effective questioning techniques and picking up Microsoft Excel skills. Auditor's peak period provides the steepest learning curve and training ground for stronger mentality, which I sincerely appreciate regardless of the stressful work environment. 

Planning

I took a hard look at myself to understand the factors of unhappiness and find out the right fit for me. The short period of work experience provided me a clearer picture of what I really want in my life. I tried to avoid the habit of pointing the finger at other people because I knew I should be responsible for all my career decisions. It's time to cut losses and create a plan to quit professionally.

It was challenging to plan due to multiple uncertainties during the unprecedented time, yet I recognize the importance of being flexible and resilient. It's not about sticking to all the details in your plans. Planning provides directions as I could know in advance how to addresses multiple situations, such as job hunting with an extremely busy work and study schedule, following up with job application, preparation for job interviews, whether to accept the job offer, procedures for resignation and handover. A financial plan is crucial too in covering financial commitment and daily expenses, so financial considerations wouldn't be an obstacle when I decide to quit.