I quit my first job!

Same day of the previous month was my last day for my first job. Before this, I had quit some part time or temporary jobs. This was my first time quitting a full time job, which had only lasted for 3 months.

Quitting this job was a painful experience, yet a wise decision. My initial plan was to quit by end of the year or after getting bonus as I was informed that my first choice company planned to freeze hiring. Their earliest intake was targeted to be in Jan 2021, which I suspected might be postponed due to the third COVID-19 wave in Malaysia.

However, the thought of quitting came across my mind sooner than I expected, which was after my first few weeks in this job.

Not Right

I constantly felt like an outsider in my team, even after I was assigned to an engagement. The feeling of discomfort while getting along with my team was beyond the factor of me being new to the team. I had been observing the team dynamics and work style, which I noticed was extremely different from mine. 

My colleagues were extremely cold and distant. From my understanding of the nature of professional workplace culture, the appropriate expectation is neutral relationship with coworkers. My expectation was common courtesy from my colleagues, not expecting to become best friends with every single one of my work colleagues. The biggest turnoff was they neither smile nor greet when bumping into others in the hallway or toilet, except when you are their gang member. The horrible gang mentality had stopped me from putting effort into socializing.

Besides, the way my seniors delegated work to me was unprofessional and their instructions were always unclear. I couldn't feel the teamwork spirit to complete our engagement together, instead the team seemed like wanted to fulfill the minimum requirements and get paid without much effort. The team seemed to care about getting their work done more than our long term professional development. I had read through their work deliverables and documents, which were surprisingly disorganized. Witnessing frequent workplace bullying, gossip and terrible communication were the red flags that screamed "quit this job" to me.

I knew things were so wrong when I found people justifying all the shits happening in the workplace, while deep down all of us were aware of the toxic work environment was more than a job we hate. I thought of reaching out to the management to voice out my concerns or seek for advice, yet the pessimistic feedback from the experienced associates had put me off. 

I also considered to consult my performance manager on the challenges faced, but the management was unresponsive to the new joiners' request to assign us with a performance manager. Ridiculously, the admin manager only took action after I told him assigning performance manager is the first step of my employee confirmation process. However, it was too late as I had made up my mind to quit.

The Deal Breaker

I knew that it was actually the time to walk away when I realized I had signed myself up as an IT auditor without realizing it! When I applied to this job, I was expecting the nature of work to be a combination of  assurance and consulting. IT audit was merely one line of the entire job descriptions. However, after looking into the list of projects, I found out that IT audit was my ONLY job scope. I, someone who dislike audit, became an IT auditor without realizing it! Same goes to the other fresh graduates who joined the team at the same time with me.

I am concerned that the skills and knowledge learnt are not aligned with my career interest in automation or digital solution. As the world is embracing digital transformation, I reckon that tapping into these areas would be value adding for my future career and the job skills would allow me to stay relevant in the industry. Although becoming an IT auditor could gain knowledge about the application system and databases, I realized IT audit is very specialist and restrictive. Rather than providing insights into the system functionality, IT audit focuses on assessing the effectiveness of the IT controls and procedures, which the exit options do not fit my long term career pathway. 

The management has been putting effort into expanding the team's portfolio, but lack of expertise would be the major challenge. After reading their CV, I noticed the management and seniors' skills are limited to either financial statement audit or IT audit. I had witnessed them struggling with a new project for several months due to incompetencies, yet the income of project wasn't lucrative. It would take time for the team to develop new skills to attract more clients, whilst the signs of limited learning opportunities had pushed me to actively seek for exit opportunities.

Concerns

Quitting a job after a short period of time might damage my reputation in the industry, whilst one of the common advice is that it's better if I could stick to my first job for at least one year. I didn't want to be perceived as an unreliable job hopper at the initial stages of my career. At the same time, I was more concerned that spending time in a job which I hate would turn out to be even more terrible for my career growth and negatively impact my performance. 

I decided to quit only after saying yes to a job offer that matches with my career goal. It would be unwise to quit first and job hunt second due to the competitive job market and financial considerations. I'm an adult who should be financial independent and accountable to pay plenty of bills myself. Working a job that I don't passionate about but allows me to pay my bills is part of adulting, and I do acknowledge the learning opportunities: providing insights from the perspective of an IT auditor, dealing with difficult people, learning effective questioning techniques and picking up Microsoft Excel skills. Auditor's peak period provides the steepest learning curve and training ground for stronger mentality, which I sincerely appreciate regardless of the stressful work environment. 

Planning

I took a hard look at myself to understand the factors of unhappiness and find out the right fit for me. The short period of work experience provided me a clearer picture of what I really want in my life. I tried to avoid the habit of pointing the finger at other people because I knew I should be responsible for all my career decisions. It's time to cut losses and create a plan to quit professionally.

It was challenging to plan due to multiple uncertainties during the unprecedented time, yet I recognize the importance of being flexible and resilient. It's not about sticking to all the details in your plans. Planning provides directions as I could know in advance how to addresses multiple situations, such as job hunting with an extremely busy work and study schedule, following up with job application, preparation for job interviews, whether to accept the job offer, procedures for resignation and handover. A financial plan is crucial too in covering financial commitment and daily expenses, so financial considerations wouldn't be an obstacle when I decide to quit.

ACCA September 2020 Sitting Experience

Good news! I had passed both Advanced Audit and Assurance (AAA) and Advanced Taxation (ATX) during Sept 2020 sitting with 76 marks and 70 marks respectively! No more ACCA exam stress! It was totally unbelievable as I really thought I had failed my ATX after not receiving the "ACCA Affiliate" email (To understand more about ACCA message error prior to results day). Luckily, it was a mere false alarm! 

September 2020 exam session was the first ACCA sitting in Malaysia during the COVID-19 pandemic. My initial plan was to clear the remaining 2 professional papers during June 2020 sitting, which was unfortunately cancelled due to COVID-19. Although rescheduling my sitting from June 2020 to Sept 2020 indicates more time for exam preparation, I wasn't very happy with the cancellation as my career plan was disrupted. 

After successfully landing a job in one of the big 4 accounting firms, my ability to cope with studies while dealing with huge ton of workload concerned me greatly. Despite having experience in juggling between studies and extra curricular activities during December 2019 sitting, I had experienced severe burnt out issues, which had adversely affected my exam condition and results. Hence, I was facing the dilemma on whether to be a risk taker by taking 2 papers for 2 consecutive days or be risk adverse and only concentrate on 1 paper to increase the probability of successfully passing the papers in first attempt. I decided to register for the early entry to enjoy the cheaper fees first, subsequently evaluate my preparedness level before the deadline for standard entry. 

There was a major concern raised after I commenced my employment - I am not eligible to take any study leave or exam leave because I have not signed any contract with the firm. This means shorter preparation time! Even if I opt for annual leave, I am only allowed to take a maximum of 3 consecutive days leave (including weekend) due to peak period. After pro rating the number of annual leaves available based on the number of months I committed to the firm, I decided to apply for 4 days leave - 2 consecutive days to sit for my papers and 2 random days before the exam week. I was so excited when I found out National Day falls on the week before the exam week, so I could spend the long weekend to prepare for my exams (Please don't judge me for being lifeless). 

Getting leave approval from my manager had further strengthened my determination to proceed with 2 papers. Since I had just embarked on my career, I would prefer to clear my papers as soon as possible before I take on more job responsibilities. Besides, I am getting tired with exam pressure after dealing with work. Instead of blocking my calendar for study, I want to hang out with my friends after work or enjoy my weekend! The desire to get rid of exam pressure had pushed to take the risk! I believe that happiness always come after toughness. 

Taking professional papers during COVID-19 pandemic means embracing full of uncertainties. Any increase in the number of daily cases could trigger cancellation of Sept 2020 sitting. Once again, my luck plays its role and the situation of COVID-19 was well contained (in August 2020) due to effort from frontline and everyone who adheres to SOP. Hence, ACCA announced that Sept 2020 sitting would undergo subject to compliance with SOP!

After reflecting on the mistakes made during last sitting, I realized that concentrating on understanding the syllabus was insufficient. Apart from reading all the study material, I planned to work on my time and stress management skills by practising past year questions under exam condition. This method was highly recommended by ACCA, which turned out to be absolutely helpful! I was not only more well-prepared to cope with the stressful exam situation, but also gained a more accurate sense of the amount of time I should spend on elaborating my answers in order to get mark. I had also planned for the time breakdown between reading and writing answers for each session prior to the actual examination, which had contributed to better time management during exam. 

Another useful trick is to read the marking scheme to understand the key words that the examiners are looking for. I tend to spend excessive time over explaining 1 point, which ended up wasting precious time while failed to earn the maximum marks. Strict adherence to spending 1.95 minutes per point is absolutely significant yet difficult. The majority of candidates are inclined to write as much as possible due to our fear of omitting the key point. In that case, I monitored my time rigidly during the actual examination by using the timer function of my watch, and the positive effect was surprising and welcoming! 

In conclusion, I am more satisfied with my performance during this sitting. As compared to last sitting, I was more calmed during exam and did not suffer much post exam burnout or stress. I can even enjoy meals with my friends before exam, drive myself home after the long exam hours (I am a lousy baby driver) and immediately report to work on the next day (honestly not highly recommended)! 

Perhaps, these are signs of adulthood? Was so occupied and don't even have time to think about it. 

On a side note, I am happy that I only spent approximately RM10,000 (including registration fees, annual subscription fees, exam fees and EPSM module) on my ACCA professional qualification! Reason being, I had not attended any tuition classes, which saved me a significant amount of cost. Besides, I had chosen the payment method which offered me the cheapest exchange rate from GBP to MYR. I always tried to pay at times where I could enjoy a favourable exchange rate. Sounds like a cheapskate, but the accumulated amount that I had saved could be used to pay for my meals.

Now, time to accumulate (suffer) work experience to earn my title! Say hi to hectic big 4 life (no I don't have a life sorry). 

Hi, adulthood.

Three years of degree life has come to an end last month. After receiving my results for the final semester, I have experienced a tremendous transition from student life to adulthood. Desperate job seeking, preparation for job interview, anxious wait for interview results, pre-employment medical checkup, received offer letter from company, got my first car, refreshed my driving skills to buying my very first insurance plan. All happened in a short span of time.

And now, I have started my career for two weeks. My first job is not in my plan, regardless the company or the department. COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted everyone's plan for year 2020. My ACCA sitting in June was cancelled, and my job offers were put on hold until further notice. I was confronting with a dilemma, unsure whether to continue waiting endlessly for reply from my ideal company, or proceed to look for a temporary job so I could cope with part time ACCA studies. Although we have witnessed gradual economic recovery following the announcement of RMCO, numerous corporations have decided to freeze hiring on top of cost containment strategies.

Words couldn't articulate my feelings when the HR congratulated me for successfully passing the final interview stage. Finally, I can become financially independent from my parents. I am grateful to land a job in one of the big 4 accounting firms at this tough job market condition. 

However, anxiety hit me badly before I start to feel excited about the idea of getting a new job. On the bright side, being an IT auditor has opened many doors for me and I believe kick-starting my career in one of the prestigious firms would go too far wrong. On the other hand, I had totally no idea where my life will be headed with this job, as compared to my original plan to become a tax accountant. 

Uncertainty is unsettling, especially when watching my friends landing in companies with higher salary and seem better job prospect. I couldn't refrain myself from questioning my decision to not applying for management trainee program and follow the traditional pathway to start my career at big 4 instead. For the very first time in my life, I questioned my choice to study ACCA. I even started to be skeptical about the return on investment of taking professional papers.

That was the point that I realized I had lost myself in the endless cycle of comparing myself with others. I have forgot the fact that pursuing accounting profession is my passion! When my mind was busy comparing myself with others, I have failed to recall that my passion to study accounting is the reason that drives me throughout the ups and downs in my university life.

But now, I am second-guessing my decision because my friends are getting higher pay than me. I couldn't believe that I feel like a failure as I reckon them more successful than me! I am frightened by the idea that monetary compensation has become the only benchmark in defining success. Besides, all of us have just started our career, it would be to soon to assume success. Life is a marathon, we got a long life ahead! In fact, running a marathon takes perseverance and dedication. Early bird will get the worms for sure, but late birds could have amazing skills in catching worm too. Who knows eventually which bird will hunt the highest number of worms?

Upon reflection, I have realized the importance of resilience, which refers to the ability to handle hardship in life. Life can always throw us unexpected challenges, and resilience is the key that allows us to handle them properly rather than fall apart. Once, I had a misconception that someone who is mentally strong would not be emotionally affected by any problems. In fact, they will feel sad, depressed, frustrated or anxious, just like everyone else. Beyond feeling so many emotions, they are able to pick up pieces and move forward. Instead of giving up easily, they take these failures as growing experiences and come out stronger than they were before.

It has become my expectation that working hard and being constantly busy will get me everything I want. However, there are times that we would not get what we want when we want, no matter how much effort we have put in. This is where resilience comes in. I have to pick up and move on. When things do not go your way, who knows something better might come along? We could choose to see the good in every occasion. 

Adulthood begins now. Despite the fact that I thought I am well-prepared for it, the transition from student to employee still caught me off guard. There is nothing that I can do other than accept and enjoy it. The small small wish I have for the rest of my life is, I am able to follow my passion and be happy everyday.

"Cross the bridge when one comes to it"